May 2012
20 posts
Everyone is so happy that high school is over, and I can honestly say that I don’t feel the same way. This past week, I found myself finding excuses to go back to school. It didn’t matter if it was helping out small things for Yearbook or just simply saying hi/bye/thank you to my teachers, I just wanted to be there. Maybe I feel this way because I missed out most of my senior year or...
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Last full day of high school tomorrow. Going to wear waterproof makeup, just in case.
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High school will be over in two days. I can’t tell if I’m excited or ready to cry my eyes out.
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Only my AP English Exam and Chemo #11 separate me from Prom, my 18th birthday, and graduation. So so happy :)
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This upcoming Calc exam makes me want to sit in my own poop. Ugh
: Dear You,Every morning I would wake up, asking... →
dae-hee:
Dear You,
Every morning I would wake up, asking for something new. Something bold, something different, something that could not be contrived by ordinary measures, as I had become underwhelmed by everything around me. Then You came along, stuck with me for awhile, put up with my qualities,…
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So much is happening this month, and it’s so hard to work chemo around them. I just want everything to be over already. My mind is ready for this to be over, but my body can’t keep up. This light at the end of the tunnel seems so close, yet so far away.
AP’s are getting the best of me. Sigh.
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As much as I try, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to believe that you could ever love me. Because there’s always going to be a little black cloud of doubt floating in the back of my head, keeping me from seeing what’s really there.
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As the pink and golden hues of the sunset fades into blanket of black, and as the rest of the world falls asleep, I’m alone and awake. I can hear the nightly creatures wake from their daytime dreams, and see the light of the moon peer through my window. Every night is always the same. I lie in bed, listening to the crickets as a cloud of doubts, what if’s, would haves, and could haves...
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The last thing I want to hear is that I have to delay my chemo because my blood counts are low. I just want to be done with everything already, not drag this whole processes out longer than it should be.
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Often times I can feel my heart ache. Not out of pain of a broken heart, but out of how much love I have for you. The thought of this scares me; to know that my heart is capable of loving another person to the extent that it hurts. Don’t be too surprised when you realize that I’m pushing myself away. It’s not because I stopped loving you, it’s because I’m scared....
